Motherhood: Potty Learning
Is there a topic more controversial with little ones than potty learning? Well maybe feeding. Or sleeping. Or diapering. Or toys. Or… Ha! If I’ve learned anything over the last almost two years of motherhood, it’s that every child and family is different, and you just have to do what is best for you. I had no intentions of sharing our potty learning experience, but I was receiving an influx of daily messages from folks with questions. I polled my IG Community to gauge interest, and a good majority of people wanted more information. I’m always happy to share our experience, but please keep in mind that I’m by no means an expert nor do I think what we did is best for anyone else. I’m simply sharing in hopes it helps someone (anyone!) in their own journey.
Marin started showing a lot of interest in the potty in late December / early January (around 18 months). She wanted to come with us to the bathroom, investigate the toilet, unroll the toilet paper, hand us toilet paper, etc. It completely caught me off guard! I have absolutely ZERO experience with babies or toddlers, so I didn’t even know WHEN kids started using the potty. I immediately went online to inquire, and as you can imagine, I was inundated with conflicting information. I decided to go ahead and purchase some potty gear, just in case.
As items arrived, I figured I’d just set them out for her to explore. I shared a quick snapshot on IG and tons of people recommended the book “Oh Crap! Potty Training”, so I purchased that too. When it arrived, I started reading right away and quickly discovered that until you’re ready to officially start, don’t let kids “play” with the potty gear. Shoot. Off to a great start, Kelsey!
I read through the entire book and decided Marin was getting close but not quite showing all the signs of readiness. I packed the potty gear away and decided to wait another month or two.
Just before she turned 20 months (March), I decided it was time. I had recently discovered we were unexpectedly anticipating the arrival of baby #2 and, in all honesty, my mind immediately jumped to “Holy sh*t! We can’t have TWO in diapers. We have to do this NOW!”. Probably not the best plan of attack. I was in full on panic mode for a lot of reasons. Alas, I followed the steps laid out in the book exactly as written. After about four days, I was EXHAUSTED. Marin actually did pretty darn well, all things considered. She would go to the potty without any trouble, but I saw zero signs of her notifying me in advance. There was no “I need to pee” acknowledgement on her part. I had to watch her like a hawk and I knew there was no way we could leave the house without a diaper which just stressed me out. Tyler and I agreed she was still a little young and we’d try again in a few months. Once again, I put all of the potty gear away and went back to diapers. Marin never missed a beat.
Fast forward to a month later (21 months), and we were seeing some serious signs of interest and readiness in the potty. We started sitting her every night before her bath. I’m not sure why that’s the route we decided to go, but we would just sing songs and talk about the day while she sat. After about a week, she was consistently peeing each night in the toilet!
My Mom told me that she used to sit all of her kids at a consistent time each day when they were potty learning back in the day, so I decided why not? I started sitting Marin as follows:
Upon waking each morning
After breakfast
After lunch
After nap
After snack
Before bath
She was still wearing cloth diapers all day long, I was just sitting her on a consistent schedule. Sure enough, she started staying dry between each sitting. Mornings were the easiest. Afternoons took a bit longer. After a few weeks, though, she was telling me “pee, pee” and would hold it until we got to the potty.
Now I’ll be honest and say poop took a bit longer. She never had fear of going in the toilet, but her acknowledgement of “I need to poop” definitely took more time. I always told Tyler she just dropped it like it’s hot. Ha! And yes, she pooped on the living room rug once. Kids, man. What a trip!
By June (23 months), we fully transitioned to underwear during the day - even when we run errands. She wears a diaper for her afternoon nap and at night, but she almost always stays dry for her nap. I figure nighttime will come, and I’m in no rush. She pees first thing when she gets up, so I know she “gets it”. She hasn’t had a single accident when we’re out and about. She actually loves going to the potty in public restrooms - which kind of feels like a blessing and a curse sometimes, but beggars can’t be choosers!
So no, we didn’t potty train in four or five days like the books say before she was two years old. We took the slow and steady route that kept me (somewhat) sane, allowed us to continue our lives without too many crazy restrictions, and (most importantly) worked for her. Over the course of three months, we’ve all learned together and she’s doing GREAT! Do what works best for you.
In case it’s helpful, here’s a look at the “gear” we use:
p o t t y l e a r n i n g g e a r
Training Seat - Do you really need both a training seat and a potty chair? It depends. If you can get away with just a training seat, I say go for it! The clean-up is WAY easier. Marin’s just so small that she can’t navigate getting up to and down from the toilet all by herself, so we use a potty chair too. We keep the training seat up in her bathroom and the potty chair in the powder bath on the main floor.
Underwear - I had a heck of a time finding underwear small enough to fit Marin since she’s so petite and under two years of age. I bought two packs of these from Zara and they’ve been perfect.
Oh Crap! - Although we didn’t end up following this method exactly as written, I did find the information helpful - especially everything about what NOT to say and do.
Potty Chair - This is really easy for Marin to navigate on her own and also doubles as a portable potty on the go. If you’re headed somewhere without a potty (strawberry picking!), this thing is a life saver. We take it to Grandma & Grandpa’s house too. :)
I don’t know if it’s helpful or not, but below are just a few tidbits that I picked up along the way and have proven really useful in our experience:
Start showing them how to push down and pull up their pants BEFORE starting potty learning. There’s nothing worse than little ones getting all the way to the toilet and getting caught up and frustrated with pants/underwear.
As sad as it is, consider transitioning away from all of those cute rompers and outfits with tons of snaps/buttons. Yes, they’re still going to need your help for a while, but you are going to get so sick of dealing with all that mess 20 times a day. Bloomers, dresses, easy on/off pants, etc. are great. If you do want to continue wearing onesies, stick to snaps if at all possible. Those outfits with the tiny buttons and buttonholes are REALLY tricky to navigate when everyone is standing - especially in public restrooms. Believe me, lesson learned over here.
Public restrooms have been a non-event for us. Marin completely shocked me and was totally fine with just sitting on public toilets without a training seat or anything. Just keep in mind that they’re going to want to put their hands all over EVERYTHING, so be prepared to scrub hands well after.
Before I fully transitioned Marin to underwear, I did a day or two of wearing nothing on the bottom (no underwear or pants). I’m not sure it made all that much difference to Marin because she never seemed to confuse underwear and diapers (maybe because cloth diapers feel so different??), but I can see it being critical for others. With that said, wearing nothing was when she pooped on the rug, so be prepared for accidents!
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